


Into Dust

by DallasWinston98



Category: The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Angst, Gay, M/M, Oneshot, Sad, boyboy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:20:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23426143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DallasWinston98/pseuds/DallasWinston98
Relationships: Johnny Cade/Dallas Winston
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	Into Dust

_Into Dust_

  
I sprinted out of the hospital into the cold, October air. I stopped only for a moment, the pain in my chest was something I couldn't get to stop. My heart was broken in two and I knew it was never be whole again. I forgot about the car I came in, I just started walking in a random direction. I didn't know where exactly I was going, but I wanted it all to end. I couldn't take the aching in my chest, I couldn't handle the cold, harsh truth that Johnny was dead. I wondered why it had to be him, I knew I would give anything to see him again. I walked around aimlessly for a while, I kept thinking of ways I could make it all stop. I knew I could kill myself, that was always an option. Anything to make it all stop.

  
I felt the gun in the elastic of my pants, I had forgotten it was there until then. I got an idea right then. It wasn't smart, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to live to see the repercussions of it anyway. I repeated my plan in my head a couple more times as I approached the nearest convenience store. I figured I could rob the place then the police wouldn't have any choice to show up. I stepped up to the door but suddenly couldn't even make myself move my hands to the handle. I tried countless times, the guy at the counter must have thought I was insane. Maybe I was. I looked down and noticed my hands were shaking like leaves, they were sweating like crazy too. My mouth went dry, I walked away from the store. I started bawling, I couldn't even hold it in anymore. I didn't care who saw me anymore, what was the point?

  
"I can't take this anymore. ." I mumbled to myself, I wished the gun I had wasn't empty.

  
I walked aimlessly some more, I wasn't even sure where I was at that point. I thought I was close to the lot, the neighborhood looked familiar enough. I kept walking, all I could think of was Johnny. I just wanted to see him again, I wanted him to be at the lot waiting for me. I could almost convince myself that he would be there, but then reality came crashing into my head. I knew he wouldn't be there, he wouldn't ever be there again. I loved him more than anything, I couldn't imagine my life without him. I never wanted anything to happen, I wouldn't have anyone to run to and tell. If I were to live I wanted my life to come to a stand still, it would be still until I saw him again. I knew it wasn't realistic, but I had to make it true. 

  
I made it to the lot and sure enough, he wasn't there. I felt my heart break even more in my chest, I wasn't even sure if that was possible. I walked across the lot, it was wet and muddy, it was still drizzling some. I thought back to the rumble that happened just that night, it felt like a million years had passed since then. There was mud all over the place, it looked more like a pig sty, just without the smell. I stepped through the mud, I wished I could get sucked up into it and drown. I couldn't make the suicidal thoughts stop, I kept thinking of death. I didn't care if it all went black, that would be better than what I had.

  
I walked up to the tree, I stared up at it. The rain started coming down a little harder, I sat under the tree. I didn't care if my clothes got wet, I didn't care about anything anymore. I brought my legs to my chest and held them close. I started to cry again, I couldn't get it to stop. I cried and cried, I was sure I was going to run out of tears. I think I did at some point, all I could do was sob to myself. The rain had really started to come down by then, I was drenched. I shivered, maybe if I curled up and fell asleep I would freeze to death. I thought about but then I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. I growled, I didn't want to be bothered. I wasn't sure who it could have been, I didn't care. I lifted my head to give whoever it was a piece of my mind but all that happened was that my mouth hung open like I was an idiot.  
I saw who it was, it was Johnny. I was tempted to slap myself and see if I wasn't freaking out. I stared at whatever it was, I was sure it was a hallucination. I reached out and touched his face, it was real. I froze, I didn't know what to do. I wanted to cry again but I couldn't make any tears form.

  
"Johnny?" I squeaked.

  
"Dally, I can't stay for long." He said, I felt my heart stop again.

  
"Johnny, please don't leave me." I begged, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close to me.

  
"I have to go, Dally. There isn't anything I can do." He said, I sobbed.

  
"I don't care! I don't care who I have to talk to or whatever to keep you here!" I cried, I held on to him.

  
"I just. .I just wanted to say goodbye." Johnny stammered, I knew he was on the verge of tears.

  
"Don't say goodbye, please don't." I begged, I couldn't stand it.

  
"I have to, but there was something I wanted to tell you before I went." He said while pulling himself away from me.

  
"I love you, Dally. I always will and I'll always be with you. I promise." He said, he smiled at me.

  
I don't know what took over me but I kissed him, I didn't even think twice about it. Our lips were locked for a moment before I pulled away, I held his hand in mine.

  
"I love you, too, Johnnycake." I said, I squeezed his hand.

  
"I have to go, Dally." He said coldly, I sobbed again.

  
"Promise me one thing." I said, I closed my eyes.

  
"What?" He asked.

  
"Promise I will see you again. ." I whimpered, I pulled him into my arms again.

  
"I promise, Dally. I love you. ." He trailed off.

  
He started to fade from my arms, I desperately tried to cling to him but only ended up hugging myself. I bawled, I didn't care if anyone heard me. I was screaming, crying and sobbing. I wanted to see him again, I never wanted to let him go. He promised me I would see him again, I believed him. I would see him again, but that was a long time. I wasn't sure if I could even manage to live through life until then. I stood from the tree and walked to the Curtis' house, I needed to get out of the rain.

  
I stepped up onto the porch but looked back to the street, rain for pouring down.

  
"I love you, Johnny. ." I whispered before stepping inside, it was the start of a new chapter. 

_A/N: I had this idea in my head for a long time and could never really get the words to come. But then In This Moment released their seventh album and it had a song called "Into Dust." It's a cover of a band called Mazzy Star. I thought this song went well with the idea. I do recommend listening to the song while reading or listening to it before hand. It's gonna be a very feely ride :p_


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